Communicate you say?
You know this is very important, but why is it so hard to communicate. Who doesn’t have a problem when it comes to communication with someone close? It happens, plain and simple. It’s normal and at one time in our lives (or 100s) we create communication barriers. We can not blame our partners as we are in control of ourselves and if it is super bad then you know where the door is. However, lets not get drastic right away. Usually, what is going on is nobody has talked about what they really need to talk about; so resentments build and vulnerability declines. Therefore, if you have noticed you are fighting over the most ridiculous things, arguing about the same things, or not talking at all these tips are for you.
Okay, did you get that?
The equation is crappy communication times resentments times decrease vulnerability = the most ridiculous arguments or issues ever. Okay so how can you attempt to work on this and communicate like a rock star?
- Become self-aware. Look deep inside and search out what the real problem is with you.
- Take a deep breath and ask your partner to speak to him/her. Use “I” statements and own your part in what you need and want from your relationship. Your partner is not a psychic (well in most in cases). https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/i-message
- Give ideas on how to problem -solve your issues in a healthy manner (no yelling or taking things personally). Your partner does not have to do what you say. However, compromising equals a happier partnership from both ends.
- If you are scared or nervous to talk to your partner you can start with a “partnership journal”, where both of you write your feelings and concerns in it. This is for couples or even just one person in the relationship who has a hard time with being vulnerable.
- Set aside time each week for 30 minutes to discuss your relationship. These talks help eliminate things getting pushed under the rug for days to even years. They also can be about things you are happy about too, sometimes we forget to tell our partners how much we appreciate them and point out positive aspects of the relationship.
- Extra tip:))) Seek therapy if you need the support or you both can’t seem to work it out on your own.
Alyssa Warren is owner of Innovative Direction-Therapy Services,practicing psychotherapist, and blogger. If you are interested in services with Alyssa you make contact her office at 850-583-1342 (text available) or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org. All Florida residents and international clients welcomed.